Tag: Job Search

Writing Prompt: Do you remember life before the internet?

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Daily writing prompt
Do you remember life before the internet?
View all responses

Yes. I’m Gen X.

Well that would have been a very short post…

In junior high school, I had typing class. There was a special classroom fitted with desks holding electric typewriters. Not word processors (my college essays were written on), but electric typewriters, with ink, paper, and satisfyingly clunky keyboards. On holidays, we made typography ‘artwork’ by following instructions (55 “X”, Return, 30 spaces, 57 “m”, etc) that, when finished, created a picture made of letters and symbols. I ended-up Valedictorian of my graduating class (#humblebrag), but typing and gym were my worse subjects by far. The typing teacher would put a piece of paper covering my hands so I couldn’t see what I was typing. I had to rely on the hand placement around ASDF JKL: and ‘feel’ my way to the other letters without peeking. I cheated more than I should have, and regretted it later in life. Today (34 years later), I’m more proficient and can type quite quickly without looking. I wonder what my speed is (remember Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing)? Maybe I could be a stenog!

“Speed Test” from the original Broadway cast of Thoroughly Modern Millie

When we moved up to the high school, there was a “computer lab” full of Apple IIe desktops with files and files of floppy disks (the actually floppy 8 inch ones – do you know how you keep them from being written over? you cut a notch in the side of them…). These machines were relatively new, but just at the end of their lifecycle. The screens were black and green, and the MS-DOS game of Math Rabbit required several floppy disks to be inserted to play. I remember a full screen of ‘code’ just for the machine to draw a square (<run>). By the time I was a senior, I was writing essays and term papers on a Brother Word Processor that looked a lot like the electronic typewriters of years before, but I could type and edit an entire page on a one-line green and black screen before it typed on the paper. It saved on ink and white-out, but today’s kids would have had a very hard time with it.

The World Wide Web went public in 1993, while I was graduating. My small town library didn’t have internet, and neither did the school. When I went to college, there was a more sophisticated computer lab, but you had to sign-up for time to use the computers attached to the World Wide Web, and you had to pay per minute of usage. By junior year (1995-1996), we had email, and all of the machines in the lab were connected to the internet. I remember printing out (on a dot-matrix printer) email from my college boyfriend. Personal computers were extremely expensive. I didn’t have my own until the 2000s.

If you followed-along on my post about my job experiences, the internet didn’t really change my life until I worked at the touring theatre production company. Out of college, I ran a dinner theatre. We didn’t have internet, we had tap dancing! I wasn’t even able to use the internet to find the touring production job. I saw it in the newspaper (in print!) and mailed (by post!) my application for the job. Then they called me on a landline (!!!) to set-up an interview. This all seems SO CRAZY when I’m writing it, but that’s how it was. I didn’t have my first cell phone until 1998!

Anyway, the next job was for a touring theatrical production company based in downtown Boston. There was a Cellular One store two doors down (later CingularOne, then AT&T), and on a lunch break I went an purchased my first Nokia phone (indestructible!) with the number I still have 25 years later. I still didn’t have internet. The phone made and received calls, and could keep my calendar. While we had computers at our desks, they ran DOS in a closed system that tracked reservations and ticket sales. After a year of being in the office, I discovered there was one computer in the corner of the office connected to the internet (dial-up). The owner had set it up because someone told her it was important, but no one used it. One day, she asked if I knew how to use this “web” thing. I went in every chance I got to look for discounted show tickets, travel deals, and venue research for her. A year later, they gave us email and connected all of our CPUs to the internet. They gave us a day to ‘get used to’ to internet and to play around. Our office manager, a longtime user of newspaper personal ads, found the online ads and loudly proclaimed; “They have ones for you!” As a gay single man in an office of young straight females, I was suddenly the center of attention as they all crowded around my computer to see what the gay ones looked like. I don’t know if you’ve experienced Yahoo personals in 1999, but they were…specific… and graphic. After 2 or 3 “Daddy looking for a pig bottom” and “CD for a…” they all ran away. I looked at a few more and one popped-out at me:

Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death

Auntie Mame

A quote from Auntie Mame? My favorite movie of ALL TIME?! Then it went on to say that they were looking for gay friends, wanting to explore the city, etc. I was living, at the time, in South Boston with three straight single women. Every night it was Will & Grace & Grace & Grace. If we went to a club or a party, they got free drinks from sleazy guys wanting to get with them, then I was the ‘boyfriend’ at the end of the night if they didn’t want to take them home. Sometimes they would all come home with someone, but I was always alone. Though the ad said “looking for 25 and older,” and I was technically months away from 25, I wrote to him, which started a months-long correspondence.

SPOILER ALERT: That man and I are celebrating the 24th anniversary of our first date later this year, and just celebrated 9 years of marriage.

There have been dark times brought about in my life because of the internet, but since I would not have the life I have now without it, I can forgive those moments. I use it almost constantly for work and for personal use, and you are using it right now to read this story. How insane is that?

So… do you remember life before the internet?

Experience

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For the past 6 weeks, we’ve had a delightful British PhD student continuing her research in our office as part of her program.  Tomorrow is her last day in the office, so we put together a lunch seminar where we could all get pizza, and she could present some of her findings.  It was all very interesting, even if the science of it went way over my head.

Part of her research involves Flow Cytometry.  I won’t go into the details of her research (she’s about to publish a paper and still needs to finish her thesis), but one anecdote  really struck me.  She was discussing the wide array of experience of the subjects in her study (all flow technicians), and one of our colleagues asked if a particular skew in the data was due to inexperience vs. experience.  She laughed and told us this story:

Every participant was asked how long they had been using this technology.  In one group, she had an older man that said he’d been using this technology for 8 years next to a young researcher that had only been using it for less than a year.

Which one do you think had more experience, and therefore would have better understanding of the technology and data?

Obviously, she assumed the one with 8 years of experience would have the greater expertise and clearly accurate results.  It turns out that the man who said he’d been using this technology for 8 years had only used the technology once… 8 years ago.  The one that had been using it for less than a year used it on a daily basis and was far more accurate in his data analysis.

Now which one would you trust to use the technology or to read the data in the correct way?  What if the results of the test determined the effectiveness of your cancer treatment or what the correct dose of a treatment should be?

I suppose it is all context and self-promotion.  The first man wanted to be an ideal subject in the study with the confidence and bravado of an expert, even though his experience was simply +1 of the average person (those who do not work in labs).  In contrast, the young researcher may have felt she didn’t have enough experience, and therefore would be judged unworthy.*

Who would over-inflate their experience?  Almost everyone, you’ll find.

In my careers, I’ve had to vet many job applicants and decide whether or not they were worth interviewing based solely on their resumes.  What is a resume used for other than self-promotion?  It’s an audition on paper to get you in the door.  Most (we hope) are truthful, but a lot that I have seen are… ‘enhanced,’ shall we say?  (I also have opinions on multiple-page resumes, but that’s for another time.).  We just recently had a situation in my office where a temp that was hired obviously did not have the Office suite experience she said she did.

When I was looking for a job, I certainly tailored my resume and my cover letters to highlight how perfect I was for the position they were looking to fill.  I didn’t lie, though.  Like the older man above, however, I did list software that I had used in the last 20 years, just in case one of my future employers exclaimed:

“He knows Artsoft (an out-of-date DOS-based ticketing finance system)! We must hire him!!”

In my mind, I was showing that I was adaptable and could easily become proficient in a variety of software and platforms, but I can see now how it may have looked like I was just throwing as many up there as I could.  (Side note: On the train home this evening, someone had a backpack advertising Word Perfect. Remember that? Is it still in use?)

For my current position, I was specifically asked in my second interview (first face-to-face) if I knew PowerPoint.  Without hesitation (thankfully), I said that while I was familiar with it, it had been many years since I had had to use it, so I would need to have a refresher.  I went home that day, downloaded it, and familiarized myself before my next interview.

You see, my boss has continuously used it on an almost-daily basis for over 13 years.  Based solely on the interviewer’s one question, I was afraid that she would ask me to do something complicated that I wouldn’t know how to do, and they’d find out I’m a fraud.  Gradually, I came to realize that she wasn’t using it to its full potential – mostly because she has so many ideas in her head, she can’t take the time to make one thought look good before moving on to the next.  So out of my own personal need for her brilliant ideas to come across in a more appealing and accessible way, I’ve taught myself tricks and functions in PP that she never bothered with.  Now, we have fun coming up with graphics or animations to make the message more dynamic.  Two weeks ago, she drew a crazy matrix of lines and boxes to demonstrate her point on a whiteboard.  A colleague tried to reinvent it in a linear way, but it didn’t make sense.  I recreated the confusing (to me, clear to everyone else) graphics directly from her drawings, and she thought I was the most brilliant person in the room (for a change) because it’s not something she could have done.

Now anytime there is a graphic needed, she sketches it up and I make it.  Together, we bring our left brain and right brain focuses together to create a better product.  It’s not about hours logged of experience, it’s about comfort with complimentary aspects of the software.  I can easily put “proficient in PowerPoint” on my resume now.

Have you ever enhanced your experience to impress someone or to get a job?  Did it work?  I’d love to hear your stories.

 

 

*In a similar, though tangential, example, think of a senior sales manager and a junior salesperson.  The manager left the field 10 years ago, but oversees, mentors and motivates the sales staff.  The manager has overall experience in the industry and the staff has real-time, current experience in the field.  If this were real estate, for example, which experience would you want most in your corner as a seller?  The manager may know the history and have a long-view of the market, so he tells you to price at value to be safe, but the agent just sold the crappy house down the street for $30k over asking price because she knows what is happening in the current market, the inventory, and the buyers.  Ideally, you want them working together.

 

A Brief Hiatus (for a good reason!)

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I have a new job!!  

(The image is Katherine Hepburn from the movie Desk Set)

I started training on October 17th and this past week was the first on my own, without the woman I was replacing being there to help.  It went well, and I can see myself thriving in this fast-paced and dynamic place.  I’m sure I’ll talk about it more later.

Because my commute is now an hour (train, walk, subway, walk) each way,* starting very early in the morning, and because the days have been non-stop busy, I’ve been extremely tired when I have returned home each night.  My husband has been wonderful.  He made sure dinner was prepared and ready each night, knowing that I would be rushed to think-up and make something.  Sometimes I just don’t deserve him.  Because of this mental exhaustion, I have come home to eat, have a drink and sit down to something mindless – either TV, or folding clothes, or the like – I have not been able to handle anything else.  I would love to read and study some more, or to write here, but I have not been up to the task.

The other reason for my being away from here, and for being so tired, can be summed-up in 3 words:

OCTOBER IN SALEM

Every weekend we had something planned or someplace to go.  I had volunteered at the tourist Information Booth for 3 shifts** – a schedule I made while still unemployed.  This limited our ‘downtime’ as well.

As if the universe knew I would not have my days free anymore, all were booked from the end of September through my start date.  Here are a few highlights:

  • My husband’s birthday is the end of September, and we always go at least once to King Richard’s Faire.  We’ve made some friends with the people that work there, and they always remember us.
  • I had family visit for a few days to do some Ancestry.com research – this was unexpected, but a lot of fun and very informative!
  • I had 1 phone interview and 5 in-person interviews (2 in Salem, 3 in Cambridge)
  • My Goddaughter got married!  We drove the 4 hours in the rain to the Cape, and had a lovely (drier) drive back the next morning, with stops at the beach (a hurricane was passing by off the coast), and a little French bistro in Hyannis.

    img_3717
    “If you’re fond of sand dunes and salty air, quaint little villages, here and there, you’re sure to fall in love with Old Cape Cod.”
  •  I drove down to the South Shore to the graves of my paternal grandparents, maternal grandparents, and my Dad (3 different cemeteries in 3 different towns).  I washed the stones with a soft brush and water, cleaning off the lichen and dirt, swept away the leaves, had a chat with each of them and left some gifts (flower basket, a crystal, some rosemary, and some scotch).  For my Dad, I also brought a spade’s worth of dirt from his garden at home and mixed it in.
  • After visiting the graves, I drove further down to visit my Mom in the Memory Care unit of her Assisted Living apartment.  I had brought my laptop with me, and pulled-up all of the pictures from the wedding, and the freshly cleaned gravesites.  I had also printed a few pictures from the past month and had used my label maker to label each picture with the people’s names.  I brought the label maker with me and, while we were talking, I labelled the photos she had set-up next to the TV as well.  We had a great visit, and while it tears a little bit of my heart every time I notice how much more the Alzheimer’s has taken from her, I try to keep her happy and present.  I can cry in the car on the way home. We had a lot of laughs together and I could see how happy she was in those moments.  I only wish she could remember them when she is down.
  • I created a sewing pattern from our Harry Potter robes, and made myself a new robe out of this gorgeous green tweed flannel I got on sale.
  • I also made my outfit for the Info booth.  Here it is in its debut waiting for the Haunted Happenings Parade (I also have orange striped socks – they went better with the Info Booth vest I had to wear).  It was my first attempt at designing and making a hat, so I was very proud of it.  I received many compliments on both the hat and the tartan accents (I also made them)!

So this has been a very busy, but productive time.  This was supposed to just be a short note of why I’ve been quiet, but, like everything else, it took on a life of its own.

The Election has me crazy – I will likely never write about that here.  Let’s just hope that the right decision is made on Tuesday.

Be good to each other.
Happy New Year, Witches!

 

img_3378
Samantha Stephens (Bewitched) in a quiet moment before the craziness of October in Salem begins (note the Info booth in the background).  This is not the usual angle that people take photos of her.  Sorry Sammy!  I didn’t mean to be indelicate.

*I have been thrilled to have this uninterrupted time in the morning and afternoon on the train.  In the morning, I can sip my coffee and read a book or listen to a podcast, and ease into the day.  In the afternoon, I can shut-off from work and do the same thing, calming me down to arrive home without any stress or pressure from the day.  In my old job, I was driving both directions, which allowed me to listen to audio books or sing along to music, but there was still the stress of driving, traffic, weather, etc, so if I left work in a state of agitation, it lingered and came home with me.  Now, on the train, I can disconnect work from the rest of my life.

**It was a wonderful experience that I wish I had had the energy to report on at the time. Hopefully next year, I will be more diligent in sharing those experiences here as they happen.

 

Dreams are weird…

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Sometimes my dreams are unremarkable or incoherent, but other times, like last night, they are hyper-realistic and almost plausible.

In the first dream, I was with my cousin and her family.  They are big into horses and riding competitions, so it was natural that I was there with them in their backyard (not really), which had a slight hill inclining up into the distance, with a chain-link labyrinth that wound on the flat and just at the bottom of the rise.  They called this the ‘coaster’ and I pictured the poor horses running up and down hills and through loops and jumps. But no, it was only called that because of the hill and because of its design.  The rows of fencing were just wide enough for one horse and rider to comfortably get through, with the turns being a little more open. This caused the horse to control its desire to buck or gallop, and made the rider take more control and be more careful and gentle with guiding the horse’s gait and direction. There were stretches of straight rows where picking-up speed was encouraged, then the rider had to rein the horse in when coming up to a sharp turn, and similar challenges were found where the ground was uneven, such as walking on the incline. It was very tricky, but it was obvious that my cousin’s daughter and her pony had done this hundreds of times and were enjoying it.

One bit of unrealistic dreaming: at one point, wings blurred out on the sides of her pony, and then were gone in the blink of an eye. Almost like something I wasn’t supposed to see; or rather, something no one else saw, but I could. “Pegasus!” I thought. And then it was gone and never came up again. Subconscious reminding me I was dreaming?!  Who knows.

We went inside and my cousin’s husband was there, happy to see me.  He said, “Will you be staying for …” but didn’t finish the sentence. “Ooh yes, he’ll love it!” they all cried. His son took me in the other room excited to show me this game everyone was playing (either I can’t remember the name, or it was never mentioned).

In the TV room, there were arrangements of small wooden squares everywhere. Not really piles or stacks, but displays of them, like periodic tables or mosaics all around the room in groups.  They looked to be made of chip wood or really thin light-colored veneer, all blank on the one side showing. He turned on the TV as explanation, and there was a tournament going on. They were showing a super-cut of a lot of young men’s reactions (girls didn’t play this game?) of delight or despair as they won or lost a game.  It was like something they would show in between games to keep the audience interested. It looked to be in a huge convention center – how had I never heard of this?  One guy had all of the squares stuck to his shirt, arms and neck. He had lost, and in slow motion, we saw him pull a double-square from his neck. It had a blue splotch and some symbols in black that I couldn’t make out. He saw it and seemed to act as if that would have been the winning piece if only he had drawn it earlier.  There were more short scenes like that, and then it switched to a station where you could buy the game set-up and the rules.  Everyone was watching me and very excited for me to play, but I didn’t think I had the money for it, so I declined and went into the other room to lay down on a couch with a blanket.  This is where I transitioned to the next dream.

*This is just some background on the next dream.  You may have seen in one of my other posts that I used to work in the Music industry as an agent. One of the most fulfilling experiences came at a conference in Europe. My colleague and I had a booth, so tons of Artists would come up and drop off their CDs to be signed by us. There was a group of young singers without managers, labels or agents, that all paid their own way to come to the conference (not cheap). They were young, eager, personable and (I found out when I got home) immensely talented. Over the weekend, they would stop in when we were free to chat and ask advice.  While being in Europe, and meeting with people I only got to see once a year, seeing great performances, and mixing with my colleagues from around the globe were all wonderful, it was this new experience of being mentors (in a small way) to these young Artists that gave me a renewed drive when I got back to the office.  We helped them network and introduced them around during the cocktail hours, and I’ve been following their careers since.*

As I was on the couch, the non-distinct room turned into a reception room in a hotel. Behind me were high-top tables with groups around them talking, but I wasn’t paying attention.  One of the young singers I knew walked in, gave me a hello kiss and swept over to the tables.  It took me a minute to recognize him as I watched him go. Only then did I notice that I knew a lot of the people behind me. They were managers, musicians and producers. I had introduced him to some of them long ago, and now he was confident and expanding on that network. I made a mental note to go say hello to everyone.

As I turned around, I was still on a couch, but the TV and blanket were gone, and instead, there was a long row of tables running lengthwise away from me all the way to the lobby of the hotel. The tables were full of people talking and I recognized more industry people and some of my personal friends. From this table came another singer that I had talked to about her career (though I didn’t think she would go very far). I was happy for her because she was with two people that I understood to be her manager and an assistant.  She had started her career, but still wanted advice.  She came to me with a difficult and tricky question.

She had recently been diagnosed as HIV+. She hadn’t told anyone yet, because she had finally gotten her career going and she didn’t know if disclosing her status would ruin that, especially this early.  She wanted to know if I thought her agency would drop her, since she was so new to them, and she didn’t want to throw any risk into such a new relationship.  I told her that I had some ideas, but needed a moment.  She went to the lobby to the restroom while I thought it out. (This was weird for me in a dream. I actually sat on the couch and had a mental conversation with myself for what seemed like several minutes.) she came back and I gave her two bits of advice:

1. As long as you give a good show, it doesn’t matter. Ultimately, your job as a singer is to perform your art for your own self-growth and for the enjoyment of others. If you are doing that, whatever is happening off the stage or out of the studio doesn’t matter (in your career), and therefore shouldn’t matter to your agent. Your manager is here supporting you, your agent should too, as well as your label.

2. Don’t let it define who you are as and Artist, unless that is what you want.  Stevie Wonder, Diane Schuur, Ray Charles – what is the first thing you think of?  A blind, piano playing singer; that is unavoidable.  People notice that and (I’m sorry to say) exploit that.  Obviously those three had the talent to excel, but they did use their disabilities to get noticed (or their people did) at first. Is that what you want?  At a certain point, when does something move from being unique to becoming a novelty act?  I understand the point of being an advocate, especially as a heterosexual female – that is still needed, but that is something you need to decide. My advice would be to be that advocate proudly in your life, but don’t change your performance. People will see that as an attempt to use your diagnosis for advancement, and you might be put in a niche that you can’t escape from.  Being in jazz is enough of a niche!  Think of the labels that follow people: gay comic, trans-gendered actress, plus-sized model, etc.  Do you want to be known as ____, or ____, HIV+ singer.  Have it be part of your story, but not your entire definition.

Two examples from Artists I’ve worked with:

I worked with a very well-known singer. She was well know by her fans for being a soulful singer, and she was well known by the industry for being extremely difficult. We put together a tour for her that met all of her demands (I can’t list them here, or it would be known who I was talking about, sorry!) but while she was on tour, she got nastier and nastier to us, to her musicians, and to our buyers. All the time, the fans loved her, and the reviews were great, but the horror stories coming in from the buyers were unforgivable.  She was ruining relationships we had built, and for what purpose?  When she refused to go on because she decided that she needed to be paid more money in cash right then (while her audience was sitting waiting for an already-late show), that was the last straw, and we dropped her. My point with this example is that as long as you are making your best art on stage or in the studio, and the audience is happy, it doesn’t matter what goes on in your life. People will put up with a lot if you have the talent to back-it-up.  She is a bad example – don’t be like her, but you know what I’m saying.  Also, we are talking about the Jazz world, not the world of “Beyonce had this for breakfast and you won’t believe what it was!”

I also worked with an Artist who had developed AIDS early in his career, and long before I worked with him.  He chose to be an advocate, and even wrote some beautiful pieces about his struggles and health issues. It was part of his story, and it became part of his act, but not all of it.  He knows that his diagnosis does not define him, though it does limit him, physically, unfortunately. He was a great musician before and continues to be a great musician now, that’s what really defines him. Another thing you will need to contend with is the prejudice of the buyer. We have come a very long way, socially, but misunderstandings still exist.  You will have buyers that will put extra clauses in contracts regarding cancellations due to illness. They will think twice about the money they are willing to spend if there is a worry that they will lose it if you catch a cold and can’t perform, especially at this point in your career.  Be careful.

She thanked me for my advice and went off. I walked over to say hello to the tables in the back, but that’s when I woke.

I am not too happy with some of the advice I gave her, to be honest.  I didn’t explain it in the right way, and looking at it here, it comes across as harsh and that I’m telling her to hide. That wasn’t it at all. I wanted to tell her to know what she was up against.

I often go to bed with the hope that my dreams will help me to find the path I’m supposed to be on to find my next career. The second dream reminded me what I liked from my last job, while highlighting my desire to mentor and help others.  It was also in a hotel. I had a second interview earlier this week at one hotel and have a first interview at a different one next week.  Who knows where these things come from?

As for the first dream? I don’t know.  Maybe I need to make that game.  And see my cousin’s family more.

What do you want to be doing? What would be your ideal new job?!

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Anything but searching for jobs.

One that pays me.

You wouldn’t believe how many times I get these questions.  I understand it.  From an outside perspective, they are ‘safe’ questions to ask after those old chestnuts: “Any prospects?” or “How is the job search going?”

I have been guilty of it.  I’m sure we all have.  You feel bad for the poor friend that has lost his job and hasn’t found a new one yet.  You mentally knock-on-wood and briefly feel thankful for the job you were just complaining about 15 minutes earlier.  “There, but for the grace of…” and all that.  This is where those questions stem from.  I appreciate that they care enough to ask, but then it is up to me to change the subject before either of us gets too uncomfortable.

This must be how new mothers or pregnant women feel.  People are always asking them questions about (sometimes very) personal issues that are really none of their business and would be embarrassing in any other circumstance.  Picture a couple on a romantic date in a restaurant.  No one walks up to one of the diners and asks if his/her date sleeps through the night, if either of you were still breastfeeding, or how much weight you gained and lost in the last few months…at least, not in the restaurants I go to.

I am an open book, and have no problem telling you the truth: It’s a tough time to be unemployed.  There are too many of us looking, and the economy can’t handle all of us.  Two of the jobs I applied for went unfilled because the position or department (both State jobs) lost funding and were terminated.  The skills I have are not what people are looking for, especially in someone my age (more on that in a later post, maybe).  Whatever job I find will pay me 25-30% of the salary I was getting, not even taking into account the benefits, profit sharing, bonuses or travel that were all perks of my last job.  Some of the jobs I am applying for would pay me less than what I am currently receiving from unemployment insurance payments.  How depressing is that?  Talk about a party conversation killer.  Besides, I live with this on a daily (and in the waking hours of the night) basis.  I am always thinking of these things.  There is no need for you to bring it up when I am trying to enjoy myself.  Perhaps I came to this party to forget about my troubles.

More often than not, the question, or line of questioning, says more about you than the person being questioned.  We all project our own insecurities and fears when confronted with something uncomfortable.  Think of any conversation you’ve had at a wake, or when someone is diagnosed with a terminal disease.  You cannot help but think of how you would handle, or wouldn’t be able to handle, being in the same situation.  In those particular scenarios, I’ll take being unemployed over sick, dead, or losing my husband.  If someone asks me if I’m worried because I haven’t found something yet, that tells me that that is how they would be feeling at this point.  “What is it you want to be doing?” could almost be them asking themselves that out loud.  Again, I’ve seen people reassess their (often unhappy) current job, because although it is easy to say “I hate my job, I’m going to quit!” my reality is there in front of them.  I didn’t choose this, and it is difficult.

Perhaps it is a defense mechanism, but people really like to tell me how much they hate their jobs, as if saying that I’m lucky that I don’t have to work.  I am at a point where I am ready to say: “Fine. Quit. I will take your job!”

What do I want to be doing?
Not searching through dozens of job listing sites every day.  Not worrying about being able to pay bills.  Not having to apply for jobs that are written for recent college graduates.  Not stalking the HR Director that is notorious for not responding, even if the position is perfect for you, and then watching her post the opening for the 3rd time.  Not thinking about my husband’s birthday in 2 weeks, and how I can’t get him anything.  Not trying to explain how I know that I can do this job, even if it isn’t apparent on paper.  Not having a great interview and follow-up that leads to silence.  Not checking my resume for the 115th time because “____ didn’t give me an interview because there had to be a typo.”  Not being kept awake all night worrying.  I want to be working and earning my keep.

What would be my ideal job?
One that pays me for doing my work.  One that I am interested in.  If I could afford to live, I have always thought that I could be happiest selling popcorn on Main Street, USA in Walt Disney World.  I would be in the happiest place I know, making people happy, and I would never have to check email or voicemail as soon as I wake up and before I go to sleep.  I guess if I could become a VIP Guest Guide for Disney, that would be ideal.

I should have better answers for these questions, I know; but I don’t.

I lost my job after 11 years at one company.  True, it was a career that I didn’t go looking for, but it was a company that I was committed to, and I was good at it, so I had decided long ago that this was my career path.  Now that it is gone, I am leaving that career (for many reasons).  The marketable skill from that experience would most easily be translated to Sales in any field.  I am not a huge fan of the sleazier side of sales (see Why I Won’t be a Car Salesman), so of all of the applications I have sent out, sales positions probably represented a bit less than a third.  Today, I had an interview for an Events position.  For the past 20 years, I have been coordinating events on both a local and global scale, but if you just read what’s on my resume, that might be missed.  I was granted the interview for political reasons, but otherwise, I wouldn’t have been brought in.  Even if I explain in detail on my cover letter why I think I’m qualified for a particular job, there is no guarantee that it will be read or believed.  The interview is where my real skills shine through, not on paper, at least according to the last few interviewers.

So, I guess I’ll still keep searching and thinking about all this.  Maybe next time you ask, I’ll have answers for you.

But don’t feel like you have to ask.

 

Why I won’t be a car salesman…

Posted in Discussions & Opinions, WorkTagged , , , 3 Comments

When you look at my resume, it is clear to recruiters that my easiest and most recent marketable skills are in Sales.  This is not my happy place, but I know that it is what I have going for me right now.  In thinking about Sales positions to apply for, I have run through them all: Real Estate (I start classes today!), inside sales, Pharmaceutical, Tech, Auto, etc.  I determined early-on that I definitely did not want to be a car salesman.  The culture is not for me.  That feeling was reinforced this week.

We are in a unique situation that we have never been in before, my husband and I.  For the first time in our lives, we own our cars outright.  I am currently on my third car.  I still owed money on the financing of my first car (a black Dodge Neon named Effie) when I traded her in to buy my second car (silver Hyundai Elantra), and did the same with that one to get this one (dark grey Hyundai Elantra).  My first and second cars had been run into the ground with some major problems, so it made more sense to trade-in than fix them.  This one is in much better shape, it is paid off, and I hold the title (not the bank).  I can see myself trading this one in within the next year or so for an AWD (Hello, New England Winters!) Hyundai Tucson.  I would have chosen that last time, but for the color (white with gold trim) and the cost at the time.  I am also in the enviable position of having paid my car insurance premiums before they were due, so I don’t have any car-related bills (other than gas) until 2017.  This is a blessing during unemployment, believe me!

However, my husband has been bitten by the bug already, and he is also interested in the Tucson.  As I am still unemployed, I don’t think this is the best time to be adding to our monthly expenses, but we went to a few dealerships to check them out anyway.

The first one we went to was the new location of the dealership we bought our last 4 cars from.  They were courteous, knowledgeable, and appreciated our loyalty.  The  showroom was clean and well-ordered as was the lot, and the salesman came out to meet us after we had looked through the lot for a few minutes.  We went for a test drive, we talked numbers and specs, we learned about the different features, and were not given the hard-sell by the manager.  When it is time for my car, I’m going back there.

The second one we went to will never see my business, and it won’t see my husband’s if I can help it.  We walked around the lot for a long time trying to see what they had.  Where the other one had the cars parked together by model and year, this one was chaos.  The 2016’s were mixed in with the 2017’s, the used cars with the new, and the different models all over the place.  Service workers drove through with no regard for our safety, and no one came to talk to us, though we were out there for far longer than we were at the other place.  When we walked into the showroom, do you think they jumped up to talk to us?  No.  My husband had to walk up to a guy in the back of the showroom to ask if someone could help him.  That guy said that he was busy, but didn’t offer anyone else.  There was a woman sitting at her computer watching us the whole time, but not volunteering.  Only when both my husband and the other salesmen looked at her did she say she could help.  We came to find out (in an very unprofessional conversation later) that she had had a bad experience with a trashy man at the end of her shift the night before, and when she saw us walk in, she “thought: Hell no! Not again!”  Way to win-us-over, lady…  Anyway, she talked in circles and a vagueness that wouldn’t have been noticeable if we hadn’t already been talking to other salespeople about the same models.  She seemed distracted and not very interested in selling anything to us, though we were friendly and affable.  She continued her tact of not caring and pretending to be ‘on our side.’  Given the other stories she told us, and the way she interacted with the manager as we were driving away, that was obviously an act.  I’m sure there are people that feel that they can trust her and feel comfortable with her, but I was not one of those people.  The showroom was messy and they didn’t have any brochures for the car we wanted.  The brochure racks were half-full and disorganized, like everything else in this place.

Did I mention that my husband told her exactly what he wanted?  No?  He did.  When we told her the second time what we were looking for and referenced cars we had seen in her lot, she got frustrated and made us go back outside to look at the models.  Even she didn’t know where they were and couldn’t find them.  She took the number off of one of the cars (not one that we would have bought, mind you), just to “run the numbers on the financing.”  My husband had shown up with credit score and loan pre-approval with APR in hand, but they didn’t seem to believe any of it.  We made sure they did not run a check, risking a hit to the score.  They went into the manager’s office and she came back with $2800 off the sticker price.  When we asked what that was, she said she didn’t know, but it included the trade-in and “some rebates.”  We made her go back and find out what those were, knowing the deals that the other dealerships were doing, and knowing the resale value of the trade-in.  She came back to say the trade-in was $1500 and the rest were “rebates.”  We told her that we knew there was a $500 loyalty rebate and a $500 summer sale rebate, so really he was discounting the sticker price by $300.  Also, the resale value of the car was nearly 5 times what they were offering.

The manager came out (I forgot to mention that she was in jeans and a casual top, and the manager was in a too-tight red polo shirt and jeans. I saw one man in a shirt and tie.) to see how we were doing.  I was done being there, and it was time for lunch, so I told him that we knew what the rebates were, and that the trade-in was worth more.  He blustered that he used to be a cop, so he was always clear and transparent with everything.  Right. We had to go back out to the parking lot to find the actual car that my husband would consider, which was $2500 less. So they went back to his office to talk some more and go through those numbers.  After a few minutes, they came back out and told my husband that they would sell him that car for $— per month.  Period.  No discussion.  He was happy, because that’s what he wanted.  I, of course, would have none of that.

“How did you come up with that number?” I asked the manager.  “Well, I moved some numbers around, and I gave you some other rebates and discounts.” he said, not answering my question.  I pressed him, but he would give the same answer.  “So you gave us more for the trade-in, or you found other rebates?” I asked, knowing he didn’t, and he admitted that he was giving us 1800 for the car, and the two 500 rebates.  So… the same deal.  Anyway, the answer was enough for my husband, so they promised to hold that offer for 24 hours.  The saleswoman told us that she was off the next day, so it would really be held for 48 hours.  That’s when she took us outside for her unprofessional stories.

Here’s what the manager was doing:  He refused to commit to a price, and that is where I knew he was not dealing fairly.  If he guarantees what your monthly payments are (in this case, 72 months), he controls what the final price of the car will be after you’ve already agreed.  If you take this deal, he will work to get the lowest % on your financing, because then he can declare a higher cost on your car, giving them more profit and higher commission.  It could turn out that we get 2.5%, which would mean that we are essentially paying the sticker price for the car, and not getting any trade-in value or discounts at all.  That, to me, is crooked dealing.  If he was as honest and transparent as he says he is, then he would have answered my questions and told us what the new deal price would be, not take us for suckers.

As we were driving away, they watched us, talking and laughing with each other.

So I would be happy to be in a Sales position, but not at the cost of my integrity or soul.  Car dealerships, being naturally much more competitive than other industries, tend to breed a culture that is sickening to me.

To teach proper behavior or to reward proper behavior? That is the question.

Posted in Discussions & Opinions, DisneyTagged , , , , , , 1 Comment

This is such a great idea for dealing with your young children in Disney!  The psychology of an ‘other’ watching over your deeds and rewarding you for doing the right thing – Santa, Elf on a Shelf (what a creep…), etc. – frees the parent from being seen as a ‘mark’ that can be easily blackmailed into providing gifts just for behaving properly.  Kids are smarter than most give them credit for.  As an outside observer (spoiler: I don’t have any children), sometimes I see kids in restaurants or in Walt Disney World that are clearly taking advantage of their tired, overworked parents. And those poor, tired, overworked parents either give in or snap.  Everyone’s time is ruined.  Good manners and proper behavior are learned skills, and I don’t think many people are teaching these things these days.

I had an interview at a local historic hotel yesterday.  In the interview, our discussion included supervising Millennials.  We both gave our observations of entitlement and the nonchalance towards the effects of their actions that have become endemic to that particular demographic.  My interviewer gave an example that one of the young food and beverage workers didn’t know the difference between a coffee cup and an espresso cup; her experience being solely that of Starbucks, where everything comes in paper cups. “Gone are the high teas at the Ritz,” she said.  And she was right.  There was once a time where you went to dinner at Grandma’s house, or had a proper Thanksgiving dinner with all of the silverware and glasses.  You learned how to use everything, to not fidget, to not yell, and THERE WERE NO TABLETS OR PHONES!! (sorry, I know that these are easy ‘babysitters,’ but you are teaching your children to disengage from conversation and from the outside world and its experiences, and not teaching them how they should be acting in public – OK, rant over).  I wish people still took their children to High Tea, or used wedding dinners or eating out at restaurants as exercises in learning how to act properly.  Heck, maybe I’ll invent a game for the iPad that teaches etiquette and table manners!

Back to Walt Disney World and rewarding behavior in kids:  We just returned from a trip earlier this month.  For the middle 3 days, we were joined by our family, which included three children aged 5, 8 and 13.  Because of the age differences, and the demographics (2 young girls, 1 teenage boy), I don’t think the plan in the link above would have worked for all of them.

We went with a different strategy.

My husband and I had long talked about making up business cards to hand to Cast Members that made our experience extra special. Typically, we would keep a list of the names and locations of extraordinary CM’s to include in our trip surveys when we returned home.  We hoped, but never knew for sure, whether they received that recognition.  We knew that with the cards, they could show them to their supervisors, if they wanted, as an immediate recognition of great service.  We finally did make those cards for this trip, and we made one very special and sassy CM almost come to tears when we handed it to her.  She had been extra helpful and so very playful with my husband.  When we handed the card to her, she said “I’m going to hang this on my fridge!” Her supervisor later came to find us in the lobby to thank us for doing that.  She told us that that CM would be retiring next week, and we had touched all their hearts with our kindness.  Another CM immediately ran to her coworker to show off the card we gave her and they both came to tell us that that was the best thing that had happened to them that day.  We also used the back of the cards to write our contact information for friends that we had made during the trip.

The front of our cards:

IMG_0638 [940240]

We had also added a picture of both of us on the back of some of them.

Realizing that today’s youth take a lot of things for granted (I put some blame on grade school graduation ceremonies, everyone-gets-an-award, everyone-gets-on-the-team, and other coddling, character-erasing, entitling practices – sorry, I promised no more rants…), we created simpler cards for the kids that said “Thank you for making my day Magical” with various Disney clip art characters on them.

Here are the cards in Word format if you wish to customize them yourself: Thank you cards.  I do not own the rights to the clip art.  Print them out on standard printable business card stock.

We handed out a stack of these to each of the kids in the morning and told them to ‘sign’ their name on them.  We told them to give them to any Disney employee that made them smile, or helped them to do something, or were just really good at their job.  We thought about incentives for handing them all out, but didn’t want to make it a competition, or have them just randomly giving them out to everyone in the first 10 minutes.  I wasn’t sure they would get the concept, or be willing to participate, but they did.  My heart went into my throat when the teenage boy was the first to give his out, without prompting, to the bus driver that had told corny jokes and teased one of the riders with a birthday button on our way to the park.  We had all laughed along and it was a jovial bus ride. As we exited the bus, he walked to the driver and handed him the card with a “thank you” and walked out.  No one was watching, and he didn’t look for immediate recognition for what he had done.  It was a better start than I had hoped for.  We continued through the day, and I think some of the cards were given out, though other things took hold of their focus.

Will this change how the kids interact with other people in the future?  I don’t know.  I do know that there are a few extraordinary Cast Members that received these cards and, for just a moment, received a heartfelt thank you for a job well done.  Maybe it gave them a smile or some needed assurance in their job that day.  I also know that when we handed them out, we received the joy of being able to give some magic to someone that had brought some to us.  I hope that the kids will remember those moments, and maybe one day it will cause them to stop and be thankful for what others have done for them.

Thank the barista for making your latte.  Thank the stranger for holding the door for you.  Hold the door for someone else.  Give up your seat on the bus to someone that needs it more than you. Brighten someone’s day for just a moment.  You never know if that may be the one little spark that ignites their will to go on.  

Sow a seed of gratitude and watch it grow.