Tag: Behavior

Value/Time Management

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How much is your time worth? 
That’s the question asked in articles on value of time and it can even be calculated with the Worth Calculator.

What is this “Value/Time” in the title?

It seemed the easiest way to get across multiple meanings:

  • The equation of Value ÷ Time (e.g. 1 of 3 = 1/3, therefore Value of Time)
  • Intrinsically connecting both Value Management and Time Management

After writing about working with my boss on PowerPoint presentations in my last post,  I started noticing instances where I was, consciously or unconsciously, making decisions and adjustments based on value of time.

It is an indisputable fact that her time is more valuable than mine.  It is plainly written on our pay stubs and in our titles.  I can, quite literally, show you a figure (private) that represents my hourly worth while at work.  You can also estimate the difference in our worth by the titles (public) of our positions.  I have no illusion that everyone’s time is of equal worth while at work.  We are called “Support Staff” for a reason. Of course, this works both ways: “Above my pay grade” is a useful phrase.

After many years of being short-staffed, and with an impatience to get things finished and move on to the next thing, she will often try to do everything.  In the beginning, it was only out of being frustrated with something for an extended period that she would hand something off.  It’s taken a long time to get her to delegate to the growing staff, myself included.  We also had to be proactive and take things off of her plate.

With the growing staff, I find myself assisting and managing everyone (don’t think I don’t see the similarities with above).  If I have something at-hand, or can easily finish a part of a project, I will do so to free-up their time.  It’s frustrating for me to see someone try to reinvent something that already exists, or not ask for help.

“Don’t go searching for that, Eric knows where it is and can send it to you.”

Part of this aversion to asking for assistance is likely fear that one will seem helpless or incapable.  Today, an office mate (of higher value rate) was searching for a letterhead template (she was in the file where it was, but didn’t know which one to use because there were several versions).  She may have been looking for this for several minutes (at a rate of 2.5x the cost per minute vs. me looking for it) before saying anything. A 5 minute conversation that included her, my boss, and myself (exponentially more expensive minutes now) ensued with her not explaining what the letterhead was for (just ‘important’) and ended with her saying “I just won’t work on this then, since Eric is working on something else right now.”  Since this would cost even more money (work not being done), I immediately walked back to my desk and emailed her 2 versions.

10 minutes talking without communicating = $~1650.00 cumulative value/time wasted.

Do you know what I could do with $1650?  Besides the money, do you know what all three of us could have gotten done in the 10 (30 combined) minutes wasted?  This is about more than efficiency, though that plays a huge role.

What about Value/Time outside of work?

It’s my personal opinion that Vacation time (no matter what you do with it), is worth more than any other time.  Then, in a descending scale: Weekends, Holidays, work hours, evening waking hours, and finally sleeping hours.  Unlike the work hours, though, I feel everyone has the same value for time outside of work.

However, the argument could be made that Work and Vacation hours are equal, since they are often part of the whole compensation package, but that’s not worth my time to get into…

What are your thoughts on Value/Time Management?  I’d love to hear your comments.

 

 

Let’s do the time hop again…

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I know, I know: It’s Time WARP, but I didn’t want to give you false hopes that this would be a Rocky Horror-themed blog post.

It looks like my last post was November 2016.  This is exactly 19 months later.  Yikes!  Let’s pretend like there was a dramatic time hop from then to now.

I’m still loving my job and the people I work with.   I admit that sometimes certain behaviors get on my nerves, but it doesn’t bother me enough to be miserable or to come home and complain to my husband.  In the past, if someone was annoying, disrespectful, or bitchy to me, my frustration would grow and become its own entity,  I remember coming home every night to tell my husband yet another story of how I had been mistreated by X or Y.  He would attentively listen, agreeing that X was a total bitch and that what she had done was borderline abusive, that Y was treating me unfairly, etc.    Now, I come home and tell him funny stories about the quirky set of characters I’m surrounded by.

As I said, it’s not always wonderful in my current situation, but the less-than-fun bits don’t get me down anymore.  I owe this turnaround, in part, to a new attitude.

In my last job, I would keep a log of the more egregious abuses from X in a file called ‘Old Dog’ (as in, the kind you can’t teach new tricks to…and the double meaning of bitch).  It was a form of therapy to get it all out and it served as a record that I thought I may need later.  That, combined with telling everyone that would listen about it, or swapping war stories with other coworkers, caused the negativity to swell and cycle and become something that couldn’t be escaped.

Maybe it’s age? Maybe it’s a heightened empathy?  Maybe it’s circumstantial after the less-than-stellar year we have had so far (see below)?  Now, I find myself brushing-off the nonsense.  When one coworker bitches about another (or another, or another…), I listen, but I don’t feed it or let it ruin my experience.  When a coworker treats me like a child or says something offensive, I know that it is her own insecurities that cause her to act that way, so I don’t give it the weight that I would have in the past.  Someone will say: “How can you stand working with Z? She is so _____!”  I simply say “I’ve worked with many Z’s in my life. I know how they operate and how to deal with them.”  You truly can’t teach an old dog new tricks, so stop trying.  They upset you with unkind words or looks?   They inconvenienced you for 15 minutes?  Let it go.  It doesn’t matter.

In the grand scheme of things:  IT.  DOESN’T.  MATTER.

This is definitely personal growth, and I’m happy to be able to recognize and acknowledge that.

I’m not saying that one should not defend oneself, or to let people walk all over you.  I am saying that, in this day and age, in this culture of self martyrdom and publicizing your victimization to get attention (we all have a friend or two on social media that consistently posts an attention-seeking/pity-me/I’ve been wronged update), it is easy to fall into the trap of letting our small inconveniences turn into monsters that eat away at our lives.

On those circumstances I alluded to above:

Donald Trump is still President, and every day some new dystopian degradation is announced.  It’s wearing me down to the point where I don’t read or listen to the news anymore.  The LGBTQ rights that my own family members (Trump supporters) told me not to worry about, because “they can’t take that away from you” that are being taken away, and the way innocent children are treated like animals is just too much to deal with.

2018 started for us with one of the hardest decisions we have ever had to make.  We put our dog of 13 years, our companion, our Little Love, to sleep.  He was suffering from dementia, bladder issues, a heart murmur, glaucoma, and a myriad of small problems.  He had his good days when he acted like a puppy, not a senior dog, and he had many terrible nights.  We scheduled and postponed the appointment twice, but finally we knew that it was best for all of us to end his suffering before it became unbearable.  Our hearts were torn into pieces, and though it is easier today, we still feel an ache and a hole in our lives.

Shortly after that, my mother-in-law went into the hospital for some major surgeries.  My husband’s family lives 1100 miles away, so it was stressful for us to be getting updates, but not be able to be there.  My husband flew down there to be with his Mom before and after her surgeries.  This saga is not over, as she is currently in the hospital right now undergoing more procedures.  Without a doubt, her conditions are made worse by the next bit:

While that was going on, an estranged family member emerged.  She had been unconscious in a hospital for almost a week before we were told.  She had been dropped-off by her addict friends with MRSA in her spine, a second blood infection, and fluid in her lungs.  She required and received open-heart surgery, lung draining, and aggressive multiple antibiotic treatments.  Again, my husband flew down to be there.  She continues to check herself out and then back into the hospitals with worsening ailments, but it is only a matter of time before she is finally free of her pain. They will not operate on her again.

We lost a dear family friend who lived life to the fullest. Cancer ate through him in 3 weeks.

While my husband was out of state dealing with his ailing family, I drove down to see my mother, who is living in a memory care assisted living facility.  She had to be moved to a higher level of care (locked/coded floors and elevators to stop wandering, with more nurses).  I took her out for the day: blood drawn, lunch, shopping, mall walking, driving around – while my brothers moved everything from one floor to the next.  The Alzheimer’s made it seem to her that nothing had changed.  She walked into the new room -a mirror image of the old one – as if it were the same.  It was the plan, but it was heartbreaking.

Another family member gave us devastating news about his health, then became unemployed and unable to pay for his treatment.

My husband had a few episodes of ‘global amnesia’ that scared us both.  Multiple doctors and scans say that nothing is wrong, and that it must have been stress-induced (see above).

I developed kidney pain that specialists conclude I have to live with until it goes away in months or a year. Fun!

With medical bills, flights to visit sick family, and a vacation the we desperately needed, we are pretty maxed-out on credit cards.  We are working to fix that, but this was one more stress we didn’t count on.

So…although now this looks like the ‘poor me’ posts I talked about earlier, it’s really just a sample of what has built the foundation and watermark for how we deal with small inconveniences in our day-to-day lives…

In the grand scheme of things: it doesn’t matter.

What do you want to be doing? What would be your ideal new job?!

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Anything but searching for jobs.

One that pays me.

You wouldn’t believe how many times I get these questions.  I understand it.  From an outside perspective, they are ‘safe’ questions to ask after those old chestnuts: “Any prospects?” or “How is the job search going?”

I have been guilty of it.  I’m sure we all have.  You feel bad for the poor friend that has lost his job and hasn’t found a new one yet.  You mentally knock-on-wood and briefly feel thankful for the job you were just complaining about 15 minutes earlier.  “There, but for the grace of…” and all that.  This is where those questions stem from.  I appreciate that they care enough to ask, but then it is up to me to change the subject before either of us gets too uncomfortable.

This must be how new mothers or pregnant women feel.  People are always asking them questions about (sometimes very) personal issues that are really none of their business and would be embarrassing in any other circumstance.  Picture a couple on a romantic date in a restaurant.  No one walks up to one of the diners and asks if his/her date sleeps through the night, if either of you were still breastfeeding, or how much weight you gained and lost in the last few months…at least, not in the restaurants I go to.

I am an open book, and have no problem telling you the truth: It’s a tough time to be unemployed.  There are too many of us looking, and the economy can’t handle all of us.  Two of the jobs I applied for went unfilled because the position or department (both State jobs) lost funding and were terminated.  The skills I have are not what people are looking for, especially in someone my age (more on that in a later post, maybe).  Whatever job I find will pay me 25-30% of the salary I was getting, not even taking into account the benefits, profit sharing, bonuses or travel that were all perks of my last job.  Some of the jobs I am applying for would pay me less than what I am currently receiving from unemployment insurance payments.  How depressing is that?  Talk about a party conversation killer.  Besides, I live with this on a daily (and in the waking hours of the night) basis.  I am always thinking of these things.  There is no need for you to bring it up when I am trying to enjoy myself.  Perhaps I came to this party to forget about my troubles.

More often than not, the question, or line of questioning, says more about you than the person being questioned.  We all project our own insecurities and fears when confronted with something uncomfortable.  Think of any conversation you’ve had at a wake, or when someone is diagnosed with a terminal disease.  You cannot help but think of how you would handle, or wouldn’t be able to handle, being in the same situation.  In those particular scenarios, I’ll take being unemployed over sick, dead, or losing my husband.  If someone asks me if I’m worried because I haven’t found something yet, that tells me that that is how they would be feeling at this point.  “What is it you want to be doing?” could almost be them asking themselves that out loud.  Again, I’ve seen people reassess their (often unhappy) current job, because although it is easy to say “I hate my job, I’m going to quit!” my reality is there in front of them.  I didn’t choose this, and it is difficult.

Perhaps it is a defense mechanism, but people really like to tell me how much they hate their jobs, as if saying that I’m lucky that I don’t have to work.  I am at a point where I am ready to say: “Fine. Quit. I will take your job!”

What do I want to be doing?
Not searching through dozens of job listing sites every day.  Not worrying about being able to pay bills.  Not having to apply for jobs that are written for recent college graduates.  Not stalking the HR Director that is notorious for not responding, even if the position is perfect for you, and then watching her post the opening for the 3rd time.  Not thinking about my husband’s birthday in 2 weeks, and how I can’t get him anything.  Not trying to explain how I know that I can do this job, even if it isn’t apparent on paper.  Not having a great interview and follow-up that leads to silence.  Not checking my resume for the 115th time because “____ didn’t give me an interview because there had to be a typo.”  Not being kept awake all night worrying.  I want to be working and earning my keep.

What would be my ideal job?
One that pays me for doing my work.  One that I am interested in.  If I could afford to live, I have always thought that I could be happiest selling popcorn on Main Street, USA in Walt Disney World.  I would be in the happiest place I know, making people happy, and I would never have to check email or voicemail as soon as I wake up and before I go to sleep.  I guess if I could become a VIP Guest Guide for Disney, that would be ideal.

I should have better answers for these questions, I know; but I don’t.

I lost my job after 11 years at one company.  True, it was a career that I didn’t go looking for, but it was a company that I was committed to, and I was good at it, so I had decided long ago that this was my career path.  Now that it is gone, I am leaving that career (for many reasons).  The marketable skill from that experience would most easily be translated to Sales in any field.  I am not a huge fan of the sleazier side of sales (see Why I Won’t be a Car Salesman), so of all of the applications I have sent out, sales positions probably represented a bit less than a third.  Today, I had an interview for an Events position.  For the past 20 years, I have been coordinating events on both a local and global scale, but if you just read what’s on my resume, that might be missed.  I was granted the interview for political reasons, but otherwise, I wouldn’t have been brought in.  Even if I explain in detail on my cover letter why I think I’m qualified for a particular job, there is no guarantee that it will be read or believed.  The interview is where my real skills shine through, not on paper, at least according to the last few interviewers.

So, I guess I’ll still keep searching and thinking about all this.  Maybe next time you ask, I’ll have answers for you.

But don’t feel like you have to ask.

 

To teach proper behavior or to reward proper behavior? That is the question.

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This is such a great idea for dealing with your young children in Disney!  The psychology of an ‘other’ watching over your deeds and rewarding you for doing the right thing – Santa, Elf on a Shelf (what a creep…), etc. – frees the parent from being seen as a ‘mark’ that can be easily blackmailed into providing gifts just for behaving properly.  Kids are smarter than most give them credit for.  As an outside observer (spoiler: I don’t have any children), sometimes I see kids in restaurants or in Walt Disney World that are clearly taking advantage of their tired, overworked parents. And those poor, tired, overworked parents either give in or snap.  Everyone’s time is ruined.  Good manners and proper behavior are learned skills, and I don’t think many people are teaching these things these days.

I had an interview at a local historic hotel yesterday.  In the interview, our discussion included supervising Millennials.  We both gave our observations of entitlement and the nonchalance towards the effects of their actions that have become endemic to that particular demographic.  My interviewer gave an example that one of the young food and beverage workers didn’t know the difference between a coffee cup and an espresso cup; her experience being solely that of Starbucks, where everything comes in paper cups. “Gone are the high teas at the Ritz,” she said.  And she was right.  There was once a time where you went to dinner at Grandma’s house, or had a proper Thanksgiving dinner with all of the silverware and glasses.  You learned how to use everything, to not fidget, to not yell, and THERE WERE NO TABLETS OR PHONES!! (sorry, I know that these are easy ‘babysitters,’ but you are teaching your children to disengage from conversation and from the outside world and its experiences, and not teaching them how they should be acting in public – OK, rant over).  I wish people still took their children to High Tea, or used wedding dinners or eating out at restaurants as exercises in learning how to act properly.  Heck, maybe I’ll invent a game for the iPad that teaches etiquette and table manners!

Back to Walt Disney World and rewarding behavior in kids:  We just returned from a trip earlier this month.  For the middle 3 days, we were joined by our family, which included three children aged 5, 8 and 13.  Because of the age differences, and the demographics (2 young girls, 1 teenage boy), I don’t think the plan in the link above would have worked for all of them.

We went with a different strategy.

My husband and I had long talked about making up business cards to hand to Cast Members that made our experience extra special. Typically, we would keep a list of the names and locations of extraordinary CM’s to include in our trip surveys when we returned home.  We hoped, but never knew for sure, whether they received that recognition.  We knew that with the cards, they could show them to their supervisors, if they wanted, as an immediate recognition of great service.  We finally did make those cards for this trip, and we made one very special and sassy CM almost come to tears when we handed it to her.  She had been extra helpful and so very playful with my husband.  When we handed the card to her, she said “I’m going to hang this on my fridge!” Her supervisor later came to find us in the lobby to thank us for doing that.  She told us that that CM would be retiring next week, and we had touched all their hearts with our kindness.  Another CM immediately ran to her coworker to show off the card we gave her and they both came to tell us that that was the best thing that had happened to them that day.  We also used the back of the cards to write our contact information for friends that we had made during the trip.

The front of our cards:

IMG_0638 [940240]

We had also added a picture of both of us on the back of some of them.

Realizing that today’s youth take a lot of things for granted (I put some blame on grade school graduation ceremonies, everyone-gets-an-award, everyone-gets-on-the-team, and other coddling, character-erasing, entitling practices – sorry, I promised no more rants…), we created simpler cards for the kids that said “Thank you for making my day Magical” with various Disney clip art characters on them.

Here are the cards in Word format if you wish to customize them yourself: Thank you cards.  I do not own the rights to the clip art.  Print them out on standard printable business card stock.

We handed out a stack of these to each of the kids in the morning and told them to ‘sign’ their name on them.  We told them to give them to any Disney employee that made them smile, or helped them to do something, or were just really good at their job.  We thought about incentives for handing them all out, but didn’t want to make it a competition, or have them just randomly giving them out to everyone in the first 10 minutes.  I wasn’t sure they would get the concept, or be willing to participate, but they did.  My heart went into my throat when the teenage boy was the first to give his out, without prompting, to the bus driver that had told corny jokes and teased one of the riders with a birthday button on our way to the park.  We had all laughed along and it was a jovial bus ride. As we exited the bus, he walked to the driver and handed him the card with a “thank you” and walked out.  No one was watching, and he didn’t look for immediate recognition for what he had done.  It was a better start than I had hoped for.  We continued through the day, and I think some of the cards were given out, though other things took hold of their focus.

Will this change how the kids interact with other people in the future?  I don’t know.  I do know that there are a few extraordinary Cast Members that received these cards and, for just a moment, received a heartfelt thank you for a job well done.  Maybe it gave them a smile or some needed assurance in their job that day.  I also know that when we handed them out, we received the joy of being able to give some magic to someone that had brought some to us.  I hope that the kids will remember those moments, and maybe one day it will cause them to stop and be thankful for what others have done for them.

Thank the barista for making your latte.  Thank the stranger for holding the door for you.  Hold the door for someone else.  Give up your seat on the bus to someone that needs it more than you. Brighten someone’s day for just a moment.  You never know if that may be the one little spark that ignites their will to go on.  

Sow a seed of gratitude and watch it grow.