Here is a first attempt YouTube video about my first attempt at creating a watercolor travel journal. Please be kind…
New Video posted!
Tag: Art
Saying “Yes” When it’s Easier to Say “No”
I’m not sure when it started – maybe post October Salem madness and the shutdown – but I started to take more risks. Not risks with my health or well-being, but with my comfort.
During the pandemic, like a lot of us, I started working from home. As the world opened-up, my boss grew increasingly frustrated with the amount of ‘lost time’ that commuting to and from the office caused. We were just as productive, if not more so, working remotely. We are almost 100% remote now. When I did go in, I was using the commuter rail, and we didn’t need the extra expense of a car that was barely used, so we cut down to a single car family years ago. My husband takes our car to work every day, so unless we pre-plan that I drive him, or there is something within walking distance or a cheap rideshare trip, I am here…at home…rarely stepping outside.
Before, I was constantly walking downtown, or taking a quick trip to Joann Fabrics (RIP), or meeting friends for lunch. As those things were taken away by lack of available time or lack of a vehicle, I became complacent with staying at home. When my husband comes home from work, I want to spend time with him (not go out on my own) and he is tired from teaching all day and just wants to relax at home. It’s easy to say “no” to leaving the house when I don’t need to.
With winter coming (and at 6 feet, 2 inches of snow accumulation, it was quite a winter!), I knew that this tendency to nest and not leave the house would only increase, so when I was asked to assist with Santa’s arrival in Salem (he lands on the roof of the Hawthorne Hotel and comes down the fire department’s ladder truck), I said YES. Go caroling for Wassail Weekend? YES. Prep wreaths to be hung downtown? YES. Go to a holiday party where I would only know 2 people? YES! And I’m so glad I did all of them.
(photo credit John Andrews for Creative Collective)
Stepping further out of my comfort zone
We were not going to be home for the holidays because we had booked 2 back-to-back cruises. We told all of our friends that we wouldn’t be participating in exchanging gifts and wouldn’t be able to host. It was so freeing! The only gift I did feel obliged to give was for my boss, who always goes over-the-top with her generous gifts for me. I wracked my brain trying to think of something for her. Call it Gay AudacityTM or foolishness, but I decided to create watercolor portraits of her 2 cats! What was I thinking? I had just started learning watercolor and playing around with easy subjects, not intricate furry little creatures! I decided to use a lightbox to trace the outlines of the cats from pictures I had because I didn’t trust my rusty freehand skills from drawing them myself. The actual painting took a long time and much trial-and-error. While I am pleased with how they came out (knowing where I was on my learning journey) they still felt very amateurish. She adored them and any hesitation I initially had was swept away by her astonishment at the surprise gift.
When packing for the cruises, perhaps bolstered by her reviews, I decided to bring a travel journal. Each day of the trip, I dedicated 2 pages to writing about what we did or saw, and sketched scenery, objects, and memories around the words, taking photos of those things for later reference. When we got home, I transferred the journal entries into pen, then finalized the sketches and colored them with watercolor. The process was more than I expected (in a good way), and I’ll be releasing a video on why travel journaling can help you to observe and to relive your memories (Link here).
Dusting off some old tools
While we were on the cruise, a friend back home texted me to ask if I would be in a murder mystery event she was putting together at the end of January. YES. It has been ~25 years since I’d been an actor, but up until that point it was my whole life – so I was no stranger, but I was afraid of being rusty. The entire evening was improvised with key plot points and character interaction, but the audience had no idea what was going to happen or who we were. Apparently, we were too good because when the girl collapsed and I ran over, an audience member that was a nurse practitioner pushed me out of the way to attend to the girl. The ‘unconscious’ victim had to whisper “this is part of the show” to her. It was chaotic, but fun. A month later when I ran into the organizer, I thanked her for getting me out of the house. She looked at me funny, but it was true. If I hadn’t said yes, I would have stayed at home, I wouldn’t have had the experience, I’d be wondering if I could have actually pulled it off, and I would have missed the fun.
A few years ago, Kylie, the Executive Director of Salem Main Streets, had posted on Facebook that she had been coerced into performing in the second annual cabaret fundraiser for the local YMCA’s youth arts program and didn’t know what to perform. I may have had a cocktail or two and suggested that as her new Board President, we should do a duet. She called me on it and we were committed. I ended up writing us a spoof of “You’re The Top” by Cole Porter with local Salem flair and it was a big hit. They asked us back the next year and we did “The Ladies Who Lunch.” Other than the opening and closing numbers, those were the only songs we were a part of. Last year, we both branched out with our own solos and a small group number. This year, I have a solo, 3 small group numbers, 2 ensemble numbers, and when they asked me if I would spearhead the lobby activities, what did I say? YES. We will have a cast wall with current pictures attached to pivotal moments from their youth, a wayfinding crossroads sign (for finding the bar, the lounge, the restrooms), and a picture spot. All of this will tie-in with art made by the youth. When it was suggested that we just have a tinsel curtain and a sign for the picture backdrop, I may have taken it a bit too far.
I’m also dusting off my grade school crafting skills by making a tortoise shell out of papier mache. My solo is a caveman-themed song and it’s going to show up for about 5 seconds at the end as a top hat. It has already proven way too much work for such a short gag, but now I’m committed.
Honing some of the new tools
After the experiment with the travel journal over the holidays, and the portraits of my boss’ cats, I decided I needed to really work on my technique and learn more about watercolors. I bought a few workbooks and watched lots of videos, but without the motivation of an end product, I found that I didn’t give it the time it deserved. Then I found a challenge by Leslie Stroz of creating 100 tiny treasures over one year. She was starting on the Spring Equinox, which was a week away, so I decided to try it. I spent the week cutting paper down to 2″ x 2″ squares, rounding the corners, finding art prompts for future inspiration, and setting myself up for success by putting my materials in an accessible spot. We are less than 2 weeks in, and I have 7 completed and another 13 sketches waiting for paint. It is my hope that I’ll be able to see some progress after a year’s worth of steady work.
I am also creating a travel journal for the 2 cruises we have booked with friends in April and August. I’ve set-up the book already with dates and locations for each of the days (to make sure I can fit both in one book with pages to spare). We leave in 2 weeks and I hope to have another video posted about the process of making that one from start to finish next month.
Completely new uncomfortable situations
What is all this talk of videos, you ask? Well… my husband is also stepping out of his comfort zone and has created 2 self published books (and counting) on Amazon and has started a YouTube channel! He has a plan in place for content, and I’ve stepped-up by drafting 3 videos to me to tape (as well assisting with his). I don’t know anyone that is comfortable with their moving image or the sound of their recorded voice, but I really hate seeing and hearing myself on camera. It’s something I’m trying to get over, so here we go!
Last year, we had a Tiny Art Spree for the Salem Arts Festival. We handed-out small 4″ x 6″ cardboard box tops to locals to create tiny art and drop it off. They could do anything they wanted with the box top. We had almost 200! At the opening kick-off party of the festival, people paid $5 for a ticket to win one of the pieces, with everyone guaranteed to receive one. When your number was called, you had to run up and grab the piece you wanted from a table where they were all laid out (hence the “spree”). We had the room open for an hour before so people could scope out the art and make a plan for which one they would grab. It was wildly successful, brought together the community, everyone had fun, and everyone went home with original art! I have been thinking of what pieces I want to make for this year’s spree, and stumbled upon one great idea. The problem is: it is a great idea… given all of this reaching for things outside my comfort zone, I decided last night that I would create this idea in full size and enter it into the juried gallery exhibition. (!!!) Let’s hope I can actually create what I have in my head. Stay tuned!
Stepping in and stepping up
One of our main fundraisers for Salem Main Streets is a fashion show (tickets still available). It was an annual event until the pandemic, but when we brought it back in 2025, it was a huge hit. Last year, I was asked to be the Joan Rivers interviewer on the red carpet. We asked someone else to handle that this year, so I was looking forward to actually enjoying the event this year. Last week our MC had to cancel, so guess what? YES. I am stepping in and stepping up to the podium. Wish me luck.
What will you do today to:
Step out of your box
Put your toe over the line
Reach
?
Coping Strategies During Tough Times
As I write this, we are in Day 36 of the 2025 US Government shutdown, currently the longest in US history (#1 and #2 both happened under a certain administration). In addition to the rollbacks of several rights and dignities, handouts of questionable pardons, large-scale layoffs in special education, mental health, food and drug safety, more key positions that keep us all safe, and a general breakdown of decency that have avalanched on top of us over the past year, the US currently faces: 42 million of the most vulnerable Americans who rely on Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) benefits left without access to food; Affordable Care Act (ACA) recipients (again, the most vulnerable) saw health insurance premiums increase as much as 300% this weekend; An impending chaos as airports, who have already have challenges with staffing shortages and equipment failure, now have air traffic controllers and TSA agents working without pay (could we see certain airspace closed if the shutdown continues?). While people are struggling and suffering, both sides are blaming each other, sometimes with slander and lies – more like schoolyard blame than adults who are supposed to be governing us.
“The Vibe is Different”
Working at the Salem Visitor Info Booth, talking to friends and colleagues, and handing out Halloween candy with neighbors this year, one of the conversations that always came up unbidden was that “something” was off this year. “The vibe is different downtown,” said one of the volunteers at the booth. “I just haven’t felt the Halloween spirit, even when walking around the city, this year,” came from a friend that absolutely lives for this season. My husband and our neighbor echoed the same sentiment even as we were handing our candy to small children in costume (and some teenagers not in costume) – probably the exact moment we should have been in the spirit. To everyone that brought this up, I asked “Why do you think that is?” Answers always included some version of “The world is sh!t right now and I am just over it – every day it’s something else to add to the pile and I can’t enjoy the small things anymore.”
Disassociation
My husband and I have stopped watching the news. News articles or headlines are ignored, and we now get our news from discussions with friends (who can deal with reading the news) and through late night talk show hosts giving us the news with a side of humor. This is not an ideal situation, but when news items cause my blood pressure to rise or make me angry, that is directly affecting my health. It feels as if we all have the sword of Damocles hanging over us. Short of living off the grid in the mountains somewhere, avoiding the news altogether is an impossible task.
So what do you do to help alleviate the anxiety, depression, and feeling of hopelessness
and defeat that can come from a situation almost entirely out of our hands?
Quiet Solo Activities
Since childhood, I’ve turned to reading to escape and enter new worlds. While I can enjoy diving into non-fiction I am deeply interested in, I almost always choose sci-fi, fantasy, magical realism, period, historical, romantic, mystery, or literary fiction. These genres, by default, can sweep you away from yourself and your everyday surroundings. I am currently re-reading a series (two trilogies and multiple novellas) that I have loved for years in preparation of the final book that was just released. Going to the library, browsing online for ebooks or audiobooks, and adding to my to-be-read list are also comforts because I know that I won’t have to struggle to find the next read or listen after I’ve finished the one(s) I’m on. This pre-planning will become a theme…
If you’ve seen some of my other posts, you know that I enjoy sewing – whether that’s creating a costume or putting together an outfit for the Info Booth, sewing an orange fleece coat because I couldn’t find one in the store (picture here), making a quilt for a neighbor’s baby, toys for my nieces and nephews, or cabana outfits for an upcoming vacation, I find peace in the planning and execution of a creative project with a clear, tangible, end goal. Even with the most complicated pattern or difficult technique, I am still enjoying the process and can zone out from everything but the project itself. I haven’t worked on anything lately, partly because I gained a lot of stress weight and am in the process of losing it. Every time I think about wanting to start something for myself, I hesitate because I don’t want to create something in the wrong size. I’ve done that before with long projects. Plus, I am still mourning the loss of Joann Fabrics…
I play the ukulele because music is a part of my upbringing and my soul. I haven’t picked it up in a few weeks now (and that makes me sad), but when I can learn a new song or improve my fingering on something, it makes me feel good – and who doesn’t smile when you here a uke?!?
I have always loved puzzles, but in 2013 I started amassing a pile of them. I’m not sure I remember why. I would set them up on a table or on the window seat and spend an hour each day, or a whole weekend day, putting them together, then I would package it up and pass it on to a friend to do. It became a favorite winter pastime to set them up in the window and watch the snow come down while I listened to some LPs (this started as a reason to get up from the chair periodically, because I had to flip or change the record). I created the hashtag #drunkpuzzling for social media and after buying a fold-up puzzle table, made several playlists on Spotify (so I wouldn’t have to get up!). While they are not a frequent as they have been, I finished a Horror Movie one last month (thematic!) and still have a stack of unopened boxes in my office.
When none of the above seems palatable after dinner, and I am left to my own devices to entertain myself, I put YouTube on the TV. Most of my subscriptions are cozy, slow, informative, emotional, and/or quirky things that bring me a little peace and a bit of serotonin. It could be top 10 lists of nostalgic things from my childhood, Golden Girls best-of clips, cooking demonstrations, cocktail history, late night monologues, comedy specials, live performances, sewing tutorials, author interviews, deep sea cameras, drone footage of Hawaii, mythology, Salem trip vloggers (looking for people I know), or it could be a content creator that I enjoy and feel a kinship with. Kathleen Illustrated reminds me of one of my local friends that is a spark of joy in my life. Rachel Maksy is the quintessence of “cozy” with a side of chaotic floor goblin. These are my people! In fact, this video inspired me to take up the next diversion.
Are all gays artistic, or is it just because we knew the Art Room at school was a safe space? I joke, but leaning into artistic pursuits has always been a comfort to me, whether performing, painting, crafting, or just making-up stories. Rachel’s video (and probably some bourbon?) inspired me to order a small travel watercolor set, papers, and brushes. My (again, bourbon…) aspiration was that I would take the kit on our next trip and spend some time relaxing on a beach and painting (Spoiler: I did take it with me, but didn’t paint on vacation – I did paint when I was back home from pictures I took, though). Watercolor is so counter-intuitive to what I had known in using acrylic paints for the past 40+ years (light to dark vs. dark to light; translucence vs. opaque, etc), that I failed in my first attempts and had to buy a few how-to-books to actually learn how to use them. It’s a work-in-progress, but hopefully one I will stick with.
About three years ago, we were both frustrated with deciding what to eat for dinner, so I caved and signed up for a meal service. We have since gone through 4 services in that time – switching each time due to the lack of variety. The last service we had was interesting, but the meals were hit-or-miss. Over the last few weeks, we would opt not to eat dinner over having one of the pre-packaged meals. We ended up wasting food and that made me mad. I downgraded for the month of October (it was too busy here, so I needed the convenience that month) and then cancelled. I signed-up for a 14 day trial on a well-known recipe site for $1. I spent a few hours each day going through the entire 400+ recipe archive, printing anything that looked interesting or matched our tastes, then cancelled before being charged the full fee. I laid the printouts all out on the table by category (meat entrée, dessert, pasta, side, vegetarian, etc) and chose menus for whole weeks. I would choose a roast or some recipe that took several hours and feed 4 or more people to cook on Sundays with leftovers on Monday. I chose a lighter or quicker meal for Tuesdays (a day one or both of us often have other commitments or limited time) like soup or salads. I picked a contrast dinner on Wednesday based on what we had for Sunday/Monday (e.g. chicken, pork or seafood if we had beef for Sunday/Monday). Our friend comes over every Thursday, which typically turned into takeout when we had the meal services, so this was the second meal I chose (after the Sun/Mon decision) each week, focusing on what all three of us would like and varying it over time. I decided to make Friday and Saturday optional (leaving space for whimsy, leftovers, or eating out), with a backup pizza recipe each week – I then made a batch of dough and froze portions for that purpose. Once I was happy with each week’s plan (taking into account Thanksgiving, travel, etc), I clipped them all together and made a cover sheet with a shopping list. This last exercise actually helped me to reorder some weeks to take advantage of buying an ingredient once to cover 2 or more weeks in a row, optimizing value. I’m aware that this all sounds like a lot of work, but it’s that preparation and creative outlet of putting it all together that I enjoy. It also gives me the peace of mind to know that everything is planned from now through the first week of January 2026 without thinking about it again. I’ve automated it. If we like the recipes, they can be recycled into the next plan, or we can start over from scratch again. Like creating something on the sewing machine, this research, preparation and gathering materials is all part of what brings me comfort. In addition, I LOVE to cook. Preparing a meal is another Zen-like task that brings me into focus, and like all of the pursuits above, having a tangible (edible!) end product to enjoy at the end of the labor is a love and a feeling of accomplishment, especially when if brings joy to others.
Coping Together
I’ll leave out the obvious activities (this is not that kind of blog!), but when my husband is not pursuing his solo coping mechanisms (journaling, napping, learning how to create AI videos for school, focusing on cleaning, listening to audiobooks), we watch movies and TV series together, sit and listen to old radio shows, work on our business, plan for vacations (real and fantasy), go to the casino to use freeplay, research things on YouTube, sit and laugh at comedy shows or late night monologues, or just sit and read while sitting next to each other with the cats sitting on our laps. It is easier to cope together, and I am so fortunate and thankful that we have each other as support.
Helping Others Cope
Local food pantries are looking for volunteers to cover extended hours, or for more food and financial donations – if your local grocery store is having a buy 2, get 3 promotion, consider getting extra and donating to those in need. Offer help (directly or indirectly) to someone in need – “I bought too many vegetables/made too much soup, do you want some?” Invite someone who is alone or struggling to dinner. Offer to drive your neighbor to appointments so they don’t have to pay for a ride on top of increased healthcare expense. Spread joy through your actions. Spread laughter. Spread love.
We don’t know how long these troubling times are going to be, or what new trials we may need to face, but if we support each other and come together as a people, we can survive and possibly come out of this better than before.
So… how are you coping?
Separating Art from Artist: The Harry Potter Dilemma
Harry Potter, a beloved series that has captured the hearts of millions, remains a cherished part of the literary world. J.K. Rowling, the author behind the magic, has shaped a generation’s childhood with her captivating storytelling and imaginative world-building. However, over the years, Rowling has faced significant backlash for her controversial statements and viewpoints, leaving many fans conflicted. In this post, we’ll explore the complex relationship of loving an artistic creation while simultaneously disliking or disagreeing with its creator.
The Magical World of Harry Potter
Before delving into the disapproval of J.K. Rowling’s personal beliefs, it’s essential to acknowledge the extraordinary gift she has given us through the Harry Potter series. For millions, these books are more than just stories; they’re a world to escape to, characters to adore, and lessons to learn. The magic of Rowling’s writing transcends age, gender, and nationality, making it a global phenomenon. It has inspired not only books, but also movies, merchandise, theme parks, and an entire subculture dedicated to celebrating the Wizarding World.
However, even amidst the enchantment of the Wizarding World, it’s hard to ignore the controversy stirred by J.K. Rowling. In recent years, she has expressed controversial opinions (that I won’t dignify by linking to) on social media that have been widely criticized. Most notably, her stance on transgender issues and her comments on gender identity have ignited outrage and debate. Her views have been seen as harmful and transphobic by many, leading to a backlash among fans, fellow authors, and stars of her film adaptations.
For those of us who value diversity, inclusivity, and acceptance, it is challenging to reconcile our love for Harry Potter with our disapproval of J.K. Rowling’s beliefs. This struggle represents a moral dilemma for fans who want to support and enjoy the world she created, yet feel uncomfortable with her personal views.
Separating the Art from the Artist
One way to approach this conflict is by separating the art from the artist. Though hard for some, try to continue to appreciate the work of art (in this case, the Harry Potter series) while disagreeing with or even condemning the artist’s personal beliefs or actions. It allows you to find joy in the Wizarding World without necessarily endorsing or supporting J.K. Rowling’s controversial statements. It may be easier to do this with an author or visual artist that is ‘out of sight’ from the work and far more difficult to separate an actor or musician who is performing their work.
Engaging in Constructive Dialogue
Another way to navigate this complex relationship is by engaging in constructive dialogue. Loving Harry Potter doesn’t mean you have to agree with everything J.K. Rowling says or does. By openly discussing the problematic aspects of her beliefs and their impact on marginalized communities, fans can contribute to a more inclusive and empathetic fandom. Engaging in respectful dialogues and advocating for change is essential to ensure that the love for the series is not marred by its creator’s opinions.
Supporting Diverse Voices
In response to the controversy, many fans have chosen to amplify the voices of transgender and non-binary individuals, promoting and consuming literature and media created by authors who represent a more inclusive and accepting worldview. This approach not only allows fans to continue enjoying magical stories but also sends a strong message that the values of the Wizarding World should align with the principles of diversity and acceptance.
On Supporting Her
People say: “I’m not buying this game,” or “I’m not going to Universal Studios” because they don’t want to support her. Let’s be real: J.K. Rowling already got the money. She constantly gets money. She is the owner of one of the most popular IPs in the world. Any time one of the Harry Potter films gets aired on TV? She gets a royalty check. Any time someone buys a ticket to get access to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal Studios? Royalty check. When someone else wants to use her IP to make a standalone production, like the Cursed Child play, or a LEGO set, or a computer game? Royalties, royalties, royalties. With or without your help, she gets the money anyway. In most cases, your boycott only hurts the company that is creating the thing that they licensed from her, like the video game developers, LEGO designers, movie studios, toy manufacturers, etc.
Conclusion
Loving something but disagreeing with its creator is a complex and personal journey. The magic of the Wizarding World is undeniable, but the controversies surrounding the author cannot be ignored. It’s essential for fans to find a way to navigate this dilemma, whether by separating the art from the artist, engaging in constructive dialogue, or supporting diverse voices in literature. In doing so, fans can continue to cherish the enchanting world of Harry Potter while upholding the values of acceptance and inclusivity that it has come to represent for so many.
Other Notable Examples
While the title and content here center around the world of Harry Potter and it’s creator, I could easily have chosen any one of these:
Michael Jackson, R. Kelly, Bill Cosby, Picasso, Lewis Carroll, Neil Gaiman, Dr. Seuss, Hunter S. Thompson, George Orwell, Gertrude Stein, Ernest Hemingway, Joan Crawford, Roald Dahl, William Golding, Sean Connery, Kevin Spacey, Caravaggio, Paul Gauguin, Flannery O’Connor, Patricia Highsmith, Orson Scott Card, Johnny Cash, Chuck Berry, Jerry Lee Lewis, Miles Davis, Morrissey, James Brown, Phil Specter, P. Diddy,… The list goes on and on.
I started this post a year or two ago and left it in the Draft folder because so much has already been written about this dilemma. When I chose to wear my wizard outfit for the Info Booth this year, I wondered how I would be perceived (agreeing with her? oblivious?), which is why I hid the Hogwarts patch and wore my Pride pin prominently. Even if the visitors didn’t interact with me, I wanted them to see that you can celebrate a fantasy world you have come to love and also celebrate inclusion. Before my shift, I re-read what I had put in here to arm myself should anyone confront me. I did have a few nice conversations with like-minded individuals and one parent that was happy to talk about their child going through the same dilemma. All of those conversations greatly added to this post.
What are your thoughts?
Small Stuff 