Saying “Yes” When it’s Easier to Say “No”

I’m not sure when it started – maybe post October Salem madness and the shutdown – but I started to take more risks. Not risks with my health or well-being, but with my comfort.

During the pandemic, like a lot of us, I started working from home. As the world opened-up, my boss grew increasingly frustrated with the amount of ‘lost time’ that commuting to and from the office caused. We were just as productive, if not more so, working remotely. We are almost 100% remote now. When I did go in, I was using the commuter rail, and we didn’t need the extra expense of a car that was barely used, so we cut down to a single car family years ago. My husband takes our car to work every day, so unless we pre-plan that I drive him, or there is something within walking distance or a cheap rideshare trip, I am here…at home…rarely stepping outside.

Before, I was constantly walking downtown, or taking a quick trip to Joann Fabrics (RIP), or meeting friends for lunch. As those things were taken away by lack of available time or lack of a vehicle, I became complacent with staying at home. When my husband comes home from work, I want to spend time with him (not go out on my own) and he is tired from teaching all day and just wants to relax at home. It’s easy to say “no” to leaving the house when I don’t need to.

With winter coming (and at 6 feet, 2 inches of snow accumulation, it was quite a winter!), I knew that this tendency to nest and not leave the house would only increase, so when I was asked to assist with Santa’s arrival in Salem (he lands on the roof of the Hawthorne Hotel and comes down the fire department’s ladder truck), I said YES. Go caroling for Wassail Weekend? YES. Prep wreaths to be hung downtown? YES. Go to a holiday party where I would only know 2 people? YES! And I’m so glad I did all of them.

I showed up as Mrs.Claus’s Secret Service Elf
(photo credit John Andrews for Creative Collective)

Stepping further out of my comfort zone

We were not going to be home for the holidays because we had booked 2 back-to-back cruises. We told all of our friends that we wouldn’t be participating in exchanging gifts and wouldn’t be able to host. It was so freeing! The only gift I did feel obliged to give was for my boss, who always goes over-the-top with her generous gifts for me. I wracked my brain trying to think of something for her. Call it Gay AudacityTM or foolishness, but I decided to create watercolor portraits of her 2 cats! What was I thinking? I had just started learning watercolor and playing around with easy subjects, not intricate furry little creatures! I decided to use a lightbox to trace the outlines of the cats from pictures I had because I didn’t trust my rusty freehand skills from drawing them myself. The actual painting took a long time and much trial-and-error. While I am pleased with how they came out (knowing where I was on my learning journey) they still felt very amateurish. She adored them and any hesitation I initially had was swept away by her astonishment at the surprise gift.

When packing for the cruises, perhaps bolstered by her reviews, I decided to bring a travel journal. Each day of the trip, I dedicated 2 pages to writing about what we did or saw, and sketched scenery, objects, and memories around the words, taking photos of those things for later reference. When we got home, I transferred the journal entries into pen, then finalized the sketches and colored them with watercolor. The process was more than I expected (in a good way), and I’ll be releasing a video on why travel journaling can help you to observe and to relive your memories (Link here once it’s up).

One of the journal pages

Dusting off some old tools

While we were on the cruise, a friend back home texted me to ask if I would be in a murder mystery event she was putting together at the end of January. YES. It has been ~25 years since I’d been an actor, but up until that point it was my whole life – so I was no stranger, but I was afraid of being rusty. The entire evening was improvised with key plot points and character interaction, but the audience had no idea what was going to happen or who we were. Apparently, we were too good because when the girl collapsed and I ran over, an audience member that was a nurse practitioner pushed me out of the way to attend to the girl. The ‘unconscious’ victim had to whisper “this is part of the show” to her. It was chaotic, but fun. A month later when I ran into the organizer, I thanked her for getting me out of the house. She looked at me funny, but it was true. If I hadn’t said yes, I would have stayed at home, I wouldn’t have had the experience, I’d be wondering if I could have actually pulled it off, and I would have missed the fun.

A few years ago, Kylie, the Executive Director of Salem Main Streets, had posted on Facebook that she had been coerced into performing in the second annual cabaret fundraiser for the local YMCA’s youth arts program and didn’t know what to perform. I may have had a cocktail or two and suggested that as her new Board President, we should do a duet. She called me on it and we were committed. I ended up writing us a spoof of “You’re The Top” by Cole Porter with local Salem flair and it was a big hit. They asked us back the next year and we did “The Ladies Who Lunch.” Other than the opening and closing numbers, those were the only songs we were a part of. Last year, we both branched out with our own solos and a small group number. This year, I have a solo, 3 small group numbers, 2 ensemble numbers, and when they asked me if I would spearhead the lobby activities, what did I say? YES. We will have a cast wall with current pictures attached to pivotal moments from their youth, a wayfinding crossroads sign (for finding the bar, the lounge, the restrooms), and a picture spot. All of this will tie-in with art made by the youth. When it was suggested that we just have a tinsel curtain and a sign for the picture backdrop, I may have taken it a bit too far.

It’s made of 2 strands of battery-operated bulbs that are alternating, so you could turn on the flash feature and it would look like they are chasing around the marquee

I’m also dusting off my grade school crafting skills by making a tortoise shell out of papier mache. My solo is a caveman-themed song and it’s going to show up for about 5 seconds at the end as a top hat. It has already proven way too much work for such a short gag, but now I’m committed.

Honing some of the new tools

After the experiment with the travel journal over the holidays, and the portraits of my boss’ cats, I decided I needed to really work on my technique and learn more about watercolors. I bought a few workbooks and watched lots of videos, but without the motivation of an end product, I found that I didn’t give it the time it deserved. Then I found a challenge by Leslie Stroz of creating 100 tiny treasures over one year. She was starting on the Spring Equinox, which was a week away, so I decided to try it. I spent the week cutting paper down to 2″ x 2″ squares, rounding the corners, finding art prompts for future inspiration, and setting myself up for success by putting my materials in an accessible spot. We are less than 2 weeks in, and I have 7 completed and another 13 sketches waiting for paint. It is my hope that I’ll be able to see some progress after a year’s worth of steady work.

I am also creating a travel journal for the 2 cruises we have booked with friends in April and August. I’ve set-up the book already with dates and locations for each of the days (to make sure I can fit both in one book with pages to spare). We leave in 2 weeks and I hope to have another video posted about the process of making that one from start to finish next month.

Completely new uncomfortable situations

What is all this talk of videos, you ask? Well… my husband is also stepping out of his comfort zone and has created 2 self published books (and counting) on Amazon and has started a YouTube channel! He has a plan in place for content, and I’ve stepped-up by drafting 3 videos to me to tape (as well assisting with his). I don’t know anyone that is comfortable with their moving image or the sound of their recorded voice, but I really hate seeing and hearing myself on camera. It’s something I’m trying to get over, so here we go!

Last year, we had a Tiny Art Spree for the Salem Arts Festival. We handed-out small 4″ x 6″ cardboard box tops to locals to create tiny art and drop it off. They could do anything they wanted with the box top. We had almost 200! At the opening kick-off party of the festival, people paid $5 for a ticket to win one of the pieces, with everyone guaranteed to receive one. When your number was called, you had to run up and grab the piece you wanted from a table where they were all laid out (hence the “spree”). We had the room open for an hour before so people could scope out the art and make a plan for which one they would grab. It was wildly successful, brought together the community, everyone had fun, and everyone went home with original art! I have been thinking of what pieces I want to make for this year’s spree, and stumbled upon one great idea. The problem is: it is a great idea… given all of this reaching for things outside my comfort zone, I decided last night that I would create this idea in full size and enter it into the juried gallery exhibition. (!!!) Let’s hope I can actually create what I have in my head. Stay tuned!

Stepping in and stepping up

One of our main fundraisers for Salem Main Streets is a fashion show (tickets still available). It was an annual event until the pandemic, but when we brought it back in 2025, it was a huge hit. Last year, I was asked to be the Joan Rivers interviewer on the red carpet. We asked someone else to handle that this year, so I was looking forward to actually enjoying the event this year. Last week our MC had to cancel, so guess what? YES. I am stepping in and stepping up to the podium. Wish me luck.

What will you do today to:
Step out of your box
Put your toe over the line
Reach
?